I was walking down through Chelsea along the kings road, which for those who don’t know has a mixture of the wealthy and the want to be wealthy which can be neatly summed up in the not so real reality show Made in Chelsea
What caught me this sunny afternoon was a classic example of some bad parenting. The parent in question obviously has no idea of what motivates people and got confused thinking what she said carried more weight than what she does.
In this case, the “bad parenting” was coming from a rather overweight mother…who was having a go at her 12 year old boy for being overweight. She was pointing out his belly to him and poking him. The child looked suitably upset and this speech was only going to produce one outcome – A direct path to the kitchen the moment her back was turned.
While I don’t know anything about either party to comment further it exemplifies the real issue when it comes to changing people.
Forget saying this or that!
Forget telling them how to do it!
Stop Nagging!
SHOW THEM THE CHANGE YOU WANT THEM TO CREATE!!!
YES…..Get up and do it YOURSELF and see if they follow.
Words are empty, actions are powerful. In the above example, it was obvious where the child learnt his behaviours. His mother was way more out of shape than he was. While her de-motivational speech came from a place of love (fear of his health more likely, but that comes out of love) the reality is she has been giving a silent speech every day for the 12 years of his life. This silent speech – That of her actions, he was listening to day in day out!
While we may criticise our kids or partners for not getting in shape the way forward is to lead.
You may be thinking, I am in good shape already…my partner is in awful shape……
Well….why are you not in sensational shape??? The things you would need to do to make that jump to the level above are the same obstacles your partner has to climb from his/her level to the one you want them to get to.
So if you are in good shape already then get into sensational shape. Activity is contagious, at subconscious and conscious levels. The better shape and standard of behaviours you set the more others are dragged along with you and often without them even knowing it.
You want to help your children get in better shape? Do it yourself…..teach them how good it feels to do it.
You want your partner to stop drinking? Give up your most problematic food (often it is not the same drink/food as theirs)
You want your friends to become more active? You must take your fitness levels to crazy heights and show them what it allows you to do.
As much as you would like to think you can control other people, the reality is you cannot. You can only show them a path. The best way to show a path is to be walking down one yourself.
I said previously in the post on Swapping bodies, if you have a genuine desire and enthusiasm then you will motivate others. The key will then to just see things from their perspective to remove the slightest small block (often one or two blocking thoughts) and the brakes are off and you will both be rocking and rolling!
September 3rd
Trained twice before midday yesterday. A poor shoulders session 5.20am followed by a killer legs session at 11am after a couple of clients. Food was fairly spot on it as I sit at the lowest body fat levels for many years. Now my goal is simply to maintain fat while I add some Kg’s of pure muscle for a super ripped look.
Diet – Protein – 218g, Carbs – 340g, fat – 70g, calories – 2865 calories, % P: 30% C : 48% F: 22%
Exercise – Weights x 2
Weight – 71.1kg Body fat – 35mm* (yesterday)
Supplements – None
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*This is my own 10 point self measurement system, it does not correlate to body fat scores. At a guess 40mm – 8%, 50mm – 9.5%, 60mm – 11%, 70mm – 12.5%. I do not take it everyday if looking to gain muscle or maintain as it puts me off wanting to eat more. If on fat loss phase I take it daily. Like any body fat measurement system, as you get to low body fat levels the number become less accurate or reliable.
Hyde Park – For Personal Training Hyde Park please contact me. I am available for sessions in homes, private gyms or for Hyde Park Personal Training